A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 156

Fur to fly at Woman's Club?

A question mark is hovering like a dark thundercloud over Farmington Woman's Club, as to whether their scheduled program for Jan. 19 will go ahead as planned.

Everything seemed organized until last week. The club's 80th season year book, compiled and printed in the summer of 1989, has assured the world for months that on the third Friday in January, 1990, Lois DiPrizio would be the hostess chairman, and Jeannne Bartlett of Acton would deliver a lecture intriguingly entitled "Bunnies 'n Things".

On Jan. 8, I made a routine call to Lois in order to nail down the "things" piece of the Bunny speech. Did it include a segment on how to convert Royce Hodgdon freezers into deluxe rabbit hutches, I wanted to know. (How about the rails for my freezer door, Royce?) Would bunnies feature on the menu? Would live rabbits be on exhibit? If so, who would clean up? And so on . . .all those 1,001 facts that intrepid reporters feel they must be acquainted with.

Lois was glad to be reminded that it was her turn for hostess duty, a chore that had completely slipped her mind. Then she suggested I call Woman's Club president, Mary Kibbe of Milton Mills, for the bunny lowdown. President Kibbe was pretty sure warm rabbits would be on hand, offering wondrous opportunities to intrepid photographers, and sweeping opportunities to intrepid Second Vice Presidents or whoever stayed behind to clean up. She also speculated that useful accoutrement, like bunny earmuffs, might be on view, but said I should call Jeanne Bartlett of Acton, Maine, bunny lecturer extraordinaire.

This was all taking more time than one had initially wanted to invest in bunny news. Cute, but hardly riveting, stuff. (Not even cute - Ed.) A call to Acton found Mrs. Bartlett was not at home, but her husband, Dr. Bartlett was not at home, though her husband, Dr. Bartlett, confirmed that bunnies had shared their life for 12 years. But they were all gone now, just before Christmas, in fact. He did not sound wistful.

"What about her Farmington Woman's Club lecture on Jan. 19?" I asked.

Dr. Bartlett said he saw not aware of this engagement, and surmised that perhaps his wife had forgotten this commitment, since the departure of her furry friends, though maybe not.

However, as the Rochester Courier went to press last Friday, confirmation of "Bunnies 'n' Things" had not been received. Yet all may not be lost. Should an alternative lecturer be needed, an anonymous staff member of the neighborly Goodwin Library suggested, Hugh Hefner might come through.

"His knowledge of Bunnies 'n' Things should really get things hopping," grinned the source.

Indeed, indeed. Fur may yet fly at the Club.

Freezer news

Few things have produced such a bulging mailbag to Farmington Corner as the subject of Royce Hodgdon's reconditioned appliances, and correspondence continues to arrive. Last week a sonnet of sorts appeared from one B.B. Canon entitled "Home Sweet Freezer," an extract of which follows:

A freezer machine can run so fine,

It cools your beer and chills your wine,

It keeps your eggs and milk and meat,

From the vigor of the summer heat.

Until one day it breaks at last,

You best call Royce and call him fast,

Now if he only would arrive,

It's got a chance to survive...

It don't look good your freezer's fate,

The mighty Royce has shown up late ...

So call the local undertaker,

And Stuart Pease the flower maker.

Have Dorothy line it with satin and lace,

To be your final resting place.

Jan. 15, 1990

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