FARMINGTON CORNER
A continuing tale of life in the boonies
No. 166
The ballad of Chevy Chase
While last Monday's column unveiled the captured blueprint of an escape route for unlicensed dogs in town, this week Farmington Corner is even more excited about publishing a genuine 15th century ballad, Chevy Chase. The following verses shed fascinating light on the romantic and chivalrous side of mudding, a noble pastime of knights in those distant days.
I
God prosper our selectmen three,
Oor liffes and saftyes all!
A joyful mudding once there did
On Ten Rod Road befall.
II
To climbe a hill in Chevy truckes
Came chosen men of might,
Who knew ffull well in time of neede
That Budde wud serve arright.
III
These tidings came to Warden Browne,
In Puddledock he lay,
Who sent the mudders present word,
He'd stop them if he may.
IV
The truckes ran swiftly through the woods
To reach the Whitehouse hill,
The blast of many a knightly horne
Did make an eccho shrill.
V
With mirey tote road steep before,
And Ten Rod Road behind,
The dryvers mustered gallantly,
Payd Warden Browne no mind.
VI
And long before high noone they had
Quaffed down a case of Budde,
Then one by one the dryvers went
To battele with the mudde.
VII
To win the topmost of the hill,
These truckes roared uppe the slope,
Til ooze and slime, 'spite booze sublime,
Defeated eche knight's hope.
VIII
It caused stout hearts great greeve to see
Eche noble Chevy foiled
White cloudes of steam from truckes did ream,
As radiators boiled.
IX
Then knights, at speede, their dames dispatched,
As custome bade they oughter,
Through woodes to trampe 'til buggy swamp,
And fetche back cannes of water.
X
At length came there a Champion,
Whose strove with mickle mighte
And trusty 44 inch tires,
To gain the muddy height
XI
Greate cheers did ring the greenwoode through,
And Buddes were quafféd down
To celebrate the victorie –
When uppe rade Warden Browne.
XII
"Shew me," sayd he, "what men ye bee
That mudde soe boldly here,
And with a scant regard for law
Do quaff yon cannes of bere."
XIII
The first man that did answer make
Was noble Ceejay hee,
Who sayd "Wee wist not to declare,
Nor shew what men wee bee."
XIV
They've mounted in their Chevy truckes,
And shewing little ffeare,
Sped merrilie from Warden Browne,
Ere he could draw his spere.
XV
Forsoothe their plates with dirte were caked,
Thus did they thwarte pursuite,
Unhappilie the warden's car,
Mired down in mudde, to boot.
XVI
Now Browne has ta'en a dreadful oath
He would avenged bee,
On suche as mudding reivers bold,
Under the greenwoode tree.
XVII
Yet God save our selectmen three,
And blesse this land with peace,
And grant hencforth suche rivalrie,
Twixt noble men may cease!
Non-mudding news
Farmington Woman's Clubbe has also been riding out, and on June 13 a posse of over 50 seemly ladies partooke of lobster and festivities at Warren's in Kitterie. Eleven members who have been in the clubbe for a combined total of almost 600 years (doesn't time fly?) received awards from outgoing president Mary Kibbe..
On June 20, Beulah Thayer entertained the Executive Board of FWC at Breezy Hill Farm where they talked up a storm over a delightful lunch. Twenty six ladies rode out for this one. Plans were worked on for the 1990-91 clubbe year including having better flowers than a certain rival. Methods to scuttle Farmington Corner were also discussed.
Peace blessing II
The American Peace Corp, in an urgent news release dated June 17, reveals that Farmington resident Rhoda Nute has returned to the U.S. after completing two years of service in Swaziland, Southern Africa. Nute got back in April, is living in Brookfield, and is of the female gender, despite the Peace Corps insisting otherwise. A hearty welcome home, Ms. Nute!
Local mudder makes good
Former mudder Ross Robicheau of Meaderboro Road, who joined the U.S. Navy last August (at the end of the season), has been named Sailor of the Quarter by his base commander at Gulfport, Mississippi.
Ross won the honor for all-round workmanship, and he is returning home for a visit shortly. Will he mudde or must he keep his nose clean?
July 2, 1990