A continuing tale of life in the boonies

No. 175

A circular tour of Farmington

January brings the snow,

Hackett's Crevasse, hello, hello.

Prestissimo this deadly jaw,

The undersides of trucks does gnaw.


In February town morale,

Gets boosted by a carnival,

But this year we saw a dud,

'twas known to some as Fun-in-Mud


By frozen March, Hackett's Crevasse

Has grown so wide we scarce can pass,

And this month - another death,

The infant Book Group draws last breath.


In April, Earth Day comes and goes,

And Freezer Royce is on his toes

To fix his crusher's bugaboo,

And cube his stock by '92.


In merry May the blackflies come,

On Main Street, Beth's horse helps them some,

While kids on bikes from sidewalks flee,

For fear of dangling from a tree.


In June, ye mongrel hordes beware,

And trot near Fitchy if ye dare,

He seeks a thousand dogs to axe,

Their owners have not paid the tax.


A damp July lures trucks and Bud,

To battle with the Ten Rod mud.

The cops say "Guys, you're out of place,"

And prompted the rhyme of Chevy Chase.


A circus is the Hay Day theme,

When August comes around full steam,

But half a foot of rain (what luck),

Could make the theme next year a duck.


In September, wiffleballers,

Kill a bush mid hoots and hollers.

And school-wise, is the worst offense,

A sidestep slide down consequence?


One book reviewer in October,

Is a Cocheco dolphin prober,

And after feisty site review,

Two trees outwit the town road crew,


November's proletariat,

Hears of a dreaded killer cat

That maketh Wrinkle Circle twitch,

And small dogs quake, and vets quite rich.


Then snow and ice come with December,

Though scarce as bad as folks remember.

Now please forgive more road crew flak,

But Hackett's Vile Crevasse - it's baaaack


So drink a toast to '91,

To Clarkie, Roger, Royce and John,

To Beth and Beulah, Betty, Pat,

And Farmtown the Magnificat.

Clash Of The Titans

Jan. 26 is the date selected by Farmington Business Association for its first annual banquet at the Farmington Fire Department. (Upstairs - not where the trucks are.) There will be a roast beef dinner and music. Social from 6-6:30 p.m. Dinner to follow. Tickets are $12 per person at Osgoods, Barretts 5 & 10, Farmington National Bank and Reilly Custom Signs. BYOB.

Jan. 26 is also the date selected by Mr. Rantin Ramgunshoch for his seventh annual Rabbie Burns Supper not a stone's throw from Hackett's Crevasse. There will be a six-course meal including haggis, plus fiddles, banjos, guitars, mandolins, whistles, concertinas, bagpipes, singing, whisky, poetry and speeches of an inflammatory nature. Sometimes all at once. Tickets are a scarce item. Non-existent in fact. Invites depend upon the idiosyncratic whim of Mr. R.

Let There Be Light

The annual winners in the outdoor decorating contest are announced by F.B.A. as follows:

$100 - Bill and Aloha Cameron, Ridge Road, for strings of miniature lights and Santa on a huge sleigh being hauled by nine reindeer.

$75 - Mike and Marcia Rouillard, South Main Street, for all the little creatures of the wood imaginable around a camp fire. Including wooden birds in wooden bushes.

$50 - Mrs. Ruth Chase, 29 Winter St., for the American flag and "God Bless" in mind of the troops in the Gulf.

$25 - David and Cathy Cardinal, Paulson Road, for transforming their saltbox into a gingerbread house with lighted bows over the windows.

Special mention in Mike Whaley's Sports Clips - Mouse Hagar for some sort of stuffed and electrified deer on his roof, and trying to get the judges drunk.

December 31, 1990

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