In an effort to jump-start the stalled local economy Farmington Corner has decided to give away $3, and the lucky recipient of such a handy sum will be he or she who submits the best caption for the picture above. Competitors may choose either local or national themes, and to give an idea of what is sought, an example has been provided below.

Write your suggested caption on a postcard, along with your name and address, and mail it to Farmington Corner, Box 1600, Wakefield Street, Rochester 03867 to arrive before April 11. The winning entry, and other good captions, will be published, together with the names of those responsible (not necessarily responsible people) in the Rochester Courier of April 15.

Example:

Despite the disapproval of voters at Town Meeting, 

detachments of Farmington police continue to stalk bicycles.

* * * * * *

Mr. Ed Florence in his inexorable push towards financial daylight by selling space age insoles has broken the three-digit barrier, leaving in his wake more than 100 delighted customers, so far. One woman told Ed she found her insoles so comfortable that she was wearing them to bed.

"Oh no, lady," said Ed with convincing horror, "you are supposed to put the sticky side down."

In the light of Roger Nutter of the Farmington Historical Society being successful in persuading the state to replace the Henry Wilson Highway signs on Route 11, Mr. Ramgunshoch is soliciting Roger's support to have a New Hampshire historical marker placed on River Road beside the legendary Hackett's Crevasse. On the same subject, former road agent Percy Day, in between the other day, predicted the road crew would eventually fix Farmington's famous feature for a mere two bucks. "Yup, they'll stick up a detour sigh," he grinned.

Governor's Road residents have glowing words of praise for Clark Hackett's quick response to a distress call after large lumps of garbage were dumped by the roadside. An old washer and a stove were among the items whisked down to the landfill. Missing any stock, Royce?

Royce Hodgdon has become the Grim Reaper of stoves and freezers one whole year earlier than even the most optimistic appliance watcher predicted. By Earth Day 1991 (April 22 according to Royce), his crusher will be in full operation, and already, in the course of ironing out the bugs, he has crunched about 80 unusable machines (if they weren't, they are now, ho, ho,) into six-inch cubes. To celebrate, Royce, who is threatening to paint the compacter a patriotic red, white and blue, is offering $3 for the best name to christen it. Send your entries to Farmington Corner, c/o Rochester Courier, etc. etc.

An unsigned letter received this week notes the uncanny coincidence between Royce's crusher going on line and the opening of Dorinda's Art Show at the Goodwin Library. The writer thinks Royce may be entering a Cubist period and looks forward to seeing examples of his work on display. The anonymous scribe also has advice for town fathers, now that the bike tax has been rejected by the people, and calls for the compulsory registration of jogging footwear and athletic shoes, with religious exemption, naturally, for basketball sneakers.

Farmington Corner adds its tiny voice to the great choir of welcome that greeted Sgt. Dave Funk and William Miller when they arrived back in sleepy old Farmington from Operation Desert (not Dessert, Pam) Storm.

Although an uphill battle is expected to be waged by environmental groups, it looks probable that the 1,796-foot Mount Major, overlooking Lake Winnipesaukee in Alton, may soon be lowered by about 500 feet in order to supply millions of cubic yards of crushed granite for the East-West highway project.

The state of New Hampshire owns 68 acres at the summit of the popular hiking mountain and the Department of Transportation has recently been able to convince a House subcommittee in Concord that by quarrying, crushing and stockpiling crushed granite, several hundred low and middle income jobs can be created, hundreds of thousands of dollars in road construction costs can be saved and the resulting mountain plateau be designated for a number of recreational uses.

Local conservationist, Dan D. Lyons, was among those who expressed dismay when learning of the proposal to flatten out the top of Mount Major, and predicted the state would have a fight on its hands even though the DOT is not legally required to get an excavation permit. Lyons said he was not impressed by the promise of a dozen new baseball fields at the summit of the mountain once the granite is removed and the site loamed and seeded. He classified this as a cynical move to splinter the opposition expected to come from outdoor enthusiasts.

Meanwhile, the state is fighting back with propaganda of its own, by pointing out that Mount Minor, as the reconstructed hill is expected to be renamed, will still be almost 1,300 feet high, with a four-lane road leading up to the baseball fields. The panoramic view of the lake will be only slightly marred by an 18-foot high chain link perimeter fence needed to prevent baseballs being batted down onto traffic plying along Route 11.

And in a late-breaking development, Ed I. Torr of the Rochester Courier denied the whole story was an April Fool joke.

(Historical Footnote: The Mount Minor April Fool's Day story, which was meant to amuse, had the unfortunate and an unanticipated consequence of riling up hundreds of people who telephoned and yelled at the New Hampshire Department of Transportation, Alton Town Hall, their elected representatives and many mores folks besides. I had to ask a radio station to broadcast to the populous that Mount Major was in no danger.)